Giving away the secrets…

on

Sooooo, I pushed him away with my antics. I sabotage all my relationships. It’s like do the breaking up before your dumped. I’ve realized that all my relationships since Sean have ended because I’ve ended them. Ok, what I don’t understand about myself is I do the cheating but I always throw a fit about them cheating! But, I know why I do. I can’t stand catching them! I’ve NEVER been caught cheating unless I’ve wanted to be caught. My biggest problem is why can’t you just be as nice as me with it? Men cheat, I honestly get this! I haven’t met a single man YET that doesn’t cheat. So, I totally get that theory about men. But, ummm I cheat too. I thought at one point I only cheat if I’ve found out that I’ve been cheated on. And, I’ve realized from my last 3 relationships that umm no I just do it cuz I’m greedy. Maybe I just know the does and don’t’s of cheating. I think I should write a cheating for dummies book. I have rules to this ish! And, here are my top 5: 1-Only deal with someone who has something to lose i.e. no cheating with someone single that’s just asking for trouble. 2-Fill the sideline person in, so they know what it is. You don’t keep them in the dark about things because that’s asking for trouble, too. I don’t mean tell them complete details of your relationship just the basics. 3-Learn how to FULLY cover your tracks. This goes well beyond the deleting texts, locking your phone, etc. That means doing all the above plus some. 4-Be honest to your signficant other,  so you’re not technically lying about your whereabouts. LOL As crazy as that may sound IT WORKS! ie. “I’m going to such and such’s they need me to run some errands with them.” That way if something comes up, it’s like you play if off like fuck. “Babe, if I were doing something sneaky, why would I even tell you where I’m going and who I’m going to be with?” See how that works? 5-NEVER CHANGE YOUR ROUTINE! The slightest indication that you’re doing something off of your routine, is the biggest sign that something is up. Say your routine is: waking up, brushing your teeth, kissing your babe good bye, go to work, come home, eat dinner, shower, bed. And, then one day when you come home you shower before dinner, it’s like hmmmm It’s going to make the sensors go off. Ok, so that’s just the basics. I’m going to be killed for giving away the secrets but come on! It’s 2010 how can you NOT know how to cheat now? Maybe I’m just watched the best at it, so I know what I’m doing? So, I now leave you with this, another one that no one pays attention to so I hope you get this, “Don’t shit where you eat.”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s