This is a post I was originally wanted to post way back when but for some reason when I hit publish wordpress wouldn’t let me. So I had to re do the entire post. Some how it has mysteriously popped up in my drafts. Enjoy!
“Deanazha Pettway :: I wouldn’t mind a dude that could take my attitude, and take the time to listen..someone that understands when i need a little space and when i need attention…..so when I find you…’ima lock you down'”
That was my little cousins status this morning on Facebook. And, she hit the nail on the hammer for me! When people ask me to describe myself I’m usually quite honest! Some may say I’m to honest. Why? Because this is usually my answer: “I’m a spoiled rotten brat. I get my way almost always. And, if I don’t I just make you as miserable as you made me; by not giving me my way. I’m caring, hard-working, fast learner, gets along with many and most and quite compassionate. But, I also get attitudes for the littlest things. I’m bossy and controlling.” Now would you date me?? I feel sorry for Ja’Rel because he has to deal with ALL of thee above on a daily basis. But, he still wants to be around, and he still tells me he Loves me… Hmmm must be true or he’s just crazy to put up with it, because I wouldn’t. LOL Honestly, if I were forced to tolerate someone like myself I couldn’t! I read this on Wikipedia today and I think it helps understand me on another level:
“As adults, spoiled children may experience problems with anger management, professionalism, and personal relationships.”
If this couldn’t be MORE TRUE! Now I don’t have problems with professionalism at all times, but I do have work related moments when I just want to blow up on certain individuals during certain situations. But, I don’t! Now Anger Management! Ha that’s a joke we ALL know I have anger management issues! I took anger management for a year and it’s probably done absolutely nothing for me! That’s why I prefer the meds, sorry but life is just earlier with Meds LOL Now personal relationships… this is honestly one of the 1st relationships I’ve been in and I’m being SO damn controlling. I don’t know if it has anything to do with the age factor or what. But, I don’t like always having attitudes over the slightest little thing he does. I try to stop and realize he’s young and still is going to make a lot of immature mistakes. He’s not going to think things all the way through. He’s going to act on impulse and rationalize things. Which is all fine and well because EVERYONE goes through that some point or another in life. But, am I capable of dealing with and tolerating it? From the way things are going, No… I love him. Love the help he is to me. Love the good times we have together. And, I love that he loves me just as much as I love him… But, Love isn’t always enough… Is it?