Diary: Secrets

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Diary- A daily written record of usually personal experiences and observations.

Secrets- Something that should remain hidden from others especially information that is not to be passed on.

Most people keep a diary to keep their secrets. I’ve never been that person. Since I can remember I’ve been paranoid and afraid of being hurt. So, I’ve always felt that keeping a diary was giving someone ammunition against me. so, I’ve always kept a diary or journal full of lies. Sure there’d be some truths in them but only stuff I’d be willing to share anyway. I’ve learned that real secrets are best kept to self. There are 2 secrets that I’d never share. They’re going to the grave with me. Now there are a few people who I tell certain things to. Because, I know they won’t say anything. And, if and when they do it wouldn’t matter no way. or, I’d just deny it all Pwahahahahaha…. So, for the record when I die if you want to know my TRUE secrets these are the people to harass: Robin- BUT OF COURSE!!! Cosen-She’s been proven to be the best secret keeper EVER! Monica-because we’ve shared so many similar issues it’s only natural to confide in her. And, that’s it. Total of 3 people. And, that’s not including myself. Secrets are a crazy thing when you think about it. Why is there even such a thing? We’re all suppose to be “real” and keep it 100 blah blah blah but we don’t. Everyone has a secret. Everyone has at least one thing they’re going to take to the grave. But, why don’t we share these things? Because 1.)The truth is true and hurtful 2.)Some secrets are dirty lies and 3.)We’re afraid of being judged! My secrets eat me up inside. The 2 I’m taking to the grave with me, I’ve learned to tuck away to a deep dark place. And, ever so often I’m faced with dealing with them. But, that’s only when I’m making myself feel guilty. I try not to do that often. I try not to lose sleep over them (That was really a cold-hearted statement and if you knew my secrets you’d agree…) But, my most recent secrets, yeah I’m losing plenty of sleep over. They’ll also be thought-provoking enough to write about. But, I won’t be able to speak on them for at least 5 years… And, this time to many strays know this secret. So, I’m living a very unhappy life these days. But, that’s the thing about secrets. They’re never good for anyone. So, I’m just going to try and not make anymore in this lifetime… Seems quite impossible.

written 12/17/10

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