Papi Dinero

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This blog is something I’ve been afraid to actually speak on. Papi Dinero… LOL it’s funny how he got that name. He calls me MCM, well he called me MCM. It stood for My Cuban Mami. We had code names which is quite funny now that I think about it. See, Papi has this pull on me and I don’t know why or how. Ever so often I find someone who has an unexplainable pull on me. And, the more I try to fight this pull the more it draws me into them… I feel weird posting about him because I’m with Mike now. But, he’s off to Iraq and I’m not talking about him as if we’re talking or no ish like that but any who. I miss the ish out of him. I use to go to him with any and all questions. About men, kids, life, etc. I would call it “Foster Wisdom”. Because, he would give me  the unbiased advice that I needed. Whether it was something I needed to hear or didn’t want to hear but I knew. It didn’t matter. I don’t want to say somewhere along the line I fell in Love with him. But, somewhere along the line I did begin to Love him. We had nothing unusual I don’t think… We didn’t have a “relationship” . We were never together or anything like that. We’ve been sleeping together off and on since November 08. And, I don’t think I can really say off and on because we were mostly ON. LOL. He had one girlfriend thru that timeframe and I had umm Marc, Rel, Derek WOW and even Mike but before we got so serious. And, neither one of us had been faithful while dealing with each other. He tried and so did I but to try is to fail… I made it my business to see him before he left for Iraq… I made it my business to speak my true mind about him and I before he left for Iraq… I don’t know. I always feel like I missed an oppurtunity with him one to many times or something. And, in all actuality he never presented any and neither did I. Did I want to pursue something with him, something more than our bedroom only relationship? Yes… But, I was too afraid to say this. I got tired of being his little secret because he wasn’t mine… Did I deal with crap I probably shouldn’t have even put up with? Absolutely… and for what? Hard dick and bubble gum? Somethings wrong with me… Especially when it comes to men but I’m learning… I think… Sorry this post is so scattered about. My thoughts weren’t premeditated. I just started typing. I miss our conversations. I miss our drinking nites. I miss how he would hold me the way I like until I fell asleep. I miss the openness of our relationship. I miss my Foster wisdom. I miss the look he would give after making his point. (Though Mike is GREAT at what he does) I miss the sex. I miss Papi… I miss him….

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16 Comments Add yours

  1. Tom Ford says:

    It was a lot of rambling going on ..so who left for Iraq PD or one of your boyfriends??

    1. Camille says:

      Need to correct that, I think he went to Kuwait not Iraq…

  2. Tom Ford says:

    So who is gone Mike or PD?? Why do you miss PD?

    1. Camille says:

      Uhhh this post is from January 2011…

    2. Camille says:

      And, the bottom of the post says what I miss… I had “cut him off” because I was in a relationship, as I usually do… Funny thing is, 3 years later, totally different relationship n the situation is almost the same…

  3. tom ford says:

    situation is the same? you miss him? do yall have drinking nights?

    1. Camille says:

      Situation the same meaning I’m in a relationship n cut him off again… Probably for the better because he’s married now but somehow my mind tells me that it doesn’t matter.. N miss him the person yes n nope no drinking nites in a LONG time… Who is this? Think I know but not sure….

  4. tom ford says:

    you sure he didnt cut you off since he is married? Tom Ford

    1. Camille says:

      Very likely… But, hmmmm idk…

    2. Camille says:

      N now that I think about it nope he didn’t cut me off for that, unless something changed in the last 90 days cuz we were still pretty “tight” until I got back in a relationship…

  5. tom ford says:

    wow 90 days ago…if you and him been going back in forth like that for years that means you go back..if he still the same or havent found a replacement.

    1. Camille says:

      Found my replacement just some days I’m worried that it isn’t a permanent one… N it’s not a replacement so to say, just something completely new…

  6. Camille says:

    N even if I didn’t have said “replacement” him changing wouldn’t matter because there is always still his marriage…

  7. tom ford says:

    well it doesnt matter if your replace because you are “happy”( in a relationship) so what he does or who he does isnt really a second thought for you…So you being replace is a good thing! I dont know him but if moving on is easy for him to do, then trust and believe you have been replace.but once again that is a good thing for you…

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