Sometimes I don’t try to go to bed until an hour before I’m supposed to be awake. Sometimes I set goals and never aim at achieving them. Sometimes I don’t sleep in my bed for days after he’s been here. Sometimes I wonder will I ever stop struggling. Sometimes I want someone to save me. Sometimes I forget how old I am. Sometimes I forget why I’ve made some of the decisions I have. Sometimes I do that creepy girlfriend thing and I watch him sleep. Sometimes I wonder if I expect to much. Sometimes I wonder if I give to much. Sometimes I really don’t feel like getting out of my bed. Sometimes I do regret some of my decisions. Sometimes I look at my children like I’ve never noticed how much they’ve grown. Sometimes I say to much. Sometimes I don’t say enough. Sometimes I test myself. Sometimes I feel like my miracle is right around the corner. Sometimes I wish my blood sisters knew me like my god appointed sisters do. Sometimes I want my Daddy. Sometimes I want my Mami. Sometimes I want to climb back in bed with my Abuelita. Sometimes I test my memory to see if I can remember as much as I can about someone that’s passed away, so I’ll never forget them. Sometimes I think I should’ve gave him a try because now he’ll always be the one that got away. Sometimes I think to much. Sometimes I don’t think enough. Sometimes I think I’m slowly going insane. Sometimes….. hmmm…..


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