Inner Thoughts

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Someone once said to me inner thoughts are meant to be just that, inner thoughts. I didn’t agree with them at that moment and I still don’t whole-heartedly. I’ve come to realize some “Personal Thoughts” need to remain just that; but, some inner thoughts need to get out. Some of them wind up being some of the best ideas EVER.

I’m realizing I have a lot of personal thoughts that I do need to find a better outlet for releasing and I’m just going to go back to writing in a journal for all of that. But, some of these inner thoughts to need to get out…. I don’t have anything major or deep to say tonite. I know that I feel like I’ve done a lot of right and a lot of wrong in my lifetime. But, even all the wrong I’ve done doesn’t equal the amount of pain I’m going through in these last few weeks. In these last few weeks I’ve learned who really matters in my life. Who plays a role in helping me better my life. Who plays a role at holding me back. That EVERYONE is a reason or season. That I’ve taken a lot of things for granted. That I do have a lot of things I need to work on within myself. And, that I’m really not a great judge of character after all. Lately I’ve been doing a whole lot more good than bad when it comes to making decisions but yet it feels like life is dealing me the worst hand ever. And, yet as always things are about to get a lot worst before they get a lot better for me. All I can do is prepare, pray and continue to get my life in order. If all I ever do for the rest of my life is simply continue to get my life and my kids lives in order then so be it. I’m getting ready to “attempt” to do major things in my life and make major changes for the better. Attempt not TRY because to try is to fail, and I’m not failing. I have no room for failure in any aspects of my life from here on out… This is the lowest and the darkest my life has been, and I know things aren’t about to make a turn for a better overnight, I’m doing everything in my power to make sure I’m NEVER at this place again in life… On that note, good nite all.

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