Denial

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So, I may be in denial about a few things going on in my life. Hey, I may possibly even be in denial about a few things when it comes to me as a person. I think almost everyone can admit that. If not to others, at least to themselves. Well, I was asked something yesterday and I don’t have the slightest clue what is soooo interesting and scary about this question. “What does Camille do for Camille?”, meaning do I pat myself on the back when I accomplish something? Do I treat/reward myself when I do a good job? And, no one has ever asked me that before. I was told to think about it, and it seems like ever since that question has been asked to me, that’s all that has been on my mind. My immediate thought was to go home and write about. But, I couldn’t write, right away because I hadn’t completely gathered my thought process and because I just didn’t have urge to write just yet. When I finally had enough thought together to write and let everything spill out of me, it was already 1am and I knew that it was going to be a draining ordeal to truly answer this question for myself so I’ve put it off until this evening. But, even as I sit at work it’s a question that has stayed on my mind all day long. To many this question is so insignificant, and you probably can’t imagine why something so little is on my mind. And, I know why it is, that’s why I want to write a journal entry about it. See it isn’t the question that is so fascinating to me, no it’s my answer to this question. An answer that is to personal for me to share with my blog world. An answer that has made me realize some truths about myself. An answer that I’ve probably known my entire life, but I was simply in DENIAL to accept. So, I’ve done what I usually do, push it to the back of my mind and leave it there until I’ve completely forgotten about it. And, for some reason I can’t seem to get it back into that little room and close that door. I had an eye-opening session last nite, it was supposed to be only for an hour but it winded up being for 2 hours (glad my insurance is billed and not me! LOL). But, that 2 hours was everything to me. A lot of realizations of myself came out that I was unaware of. Actually not even a lot, just 1 profound thing that I hadn’t even realized about myself. Last night’s session was a life changing session, or the start of one I should say… Can’t wait to talk about it in tonight’s session but on a different level… I’ve said enough but maybe, just maybe when I feel comfortable enough I might be able to explain why this was such a profound moment for me. Until then…

Thanks for reading… Leave comments down there… Don’t forget you can always send questions and topics to imjustcam.wordpress@yahoo.com and I’ll respond to it at https://imjustcam.wordpress.com if you want to remain anonymous mention that in the email please and thank you!

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. tera says:

    Profound indeed. Makes me think what my answer would be to the question.

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