I don’t know why I named this “Blank Moment” because I’m everything but blank right now. I’ve got so many thoughts and ideas running through my head and all I keep thinking about is how and when do I execute them? I need to come back to writing online but I’ve been learning to journal more but I can still hear a certain someone saying “everything isn’t for everyone”. I made this blog private, something I’ve never wanted to do, but again because someone told me my thoughts should be private. I’m sorry but I no longer agree with those opinions.
My past is just that, my past. If someone wants to read something I wrote when I was a different person and in a different mind frame and judge me off of my words and actions than please be my guest! You’ll quickly find out, not only am I not that person anymore but I am now someone who is trying to supersede the person I was. Everyday I fight to be better than I was yesterday. Some days I’m victorious and others not so grand.
Like others, I’ve made choices and decisions that I am not proud of. I’ve done things that I know will not bring the Karma that I want to me. I’m OK with that because some things I deserve the karma for… What I’m stuck with these days is when I FINALLY choose to make the right decision, what is the lesson learned? In some instances I know before the ending what the lesson is and in other situations I never know what it is, which only means I’ll repeat the act until I do.
I can’t quite say my life is utter chaos right now because it’s actually not. But, if I don’t get my footing back right away, I’m doomed!
So my loyal readers are now wondering what does Cam have going on so I’ll give you guys a quick run down. SINGLE! and loving it… Just ended several “relationships” and I don’t mean solely dating, no I mean people period that were toxic to not only my growth but development as a better person. People that I knew would only continue to block my blessings and not help them flourish. Will I miss these people? Of course I will, but I won’t miss how I would be left feeling when dealing with them. I use to be the one hard at letting go but these days it’s refreshing to let go of something that you know just isn’t for you. I’ve been at my current job almost 2 years and I’m making a drastic change from office life to on the floor life. I NEED to do this not just for me but for my babies and our future. We’re all we got! No one else has our best interest in mind like me. Though I get distracted easily and procrastinate often; but I’m getting better, I think…
I have no meaningful quotes and sayings off the top of my head to add to this quick blurp of random words so I’ll steal one that I read daily on my desk:
“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” “Achievement demands discipline.” “If you work really hard, and you’re really king, amazing things will happen.” “Wise Kings generally have wise counselors; and he must be a wise man himself who is capable of distinguishing one.” “Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work!”
I know what I want… I’m working on exchanging what I no longer want for what I do, and this is no easy act… I’m getting my priorities in order and I’m about to work my magic like no other… I know this has all been said before but I’ve never made it this far and I’m dying to see how much further my life can go because I already know how dark my life can be and I never want to be in that place again…
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