54 days 4 hours & 22 minutes

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I just want to hop on top the washer machine while me and Girlie have girl talk. Laugh and have real talk with Tera while we run errands. Climb in bed with Kina as we giggle like silly little teenagers. Give my Nay the look to tell her I’ll talk to Mom. Hear Gabe talk in his cute little voice with his quirky right on time sayings. Watch Miguel work on his craft as JoJo is running around defying every potty rule. Watch my Dad and Uncles play pool in the basement. Sit on the patio with my Mom. Take a walk with Ryan and relieve stress our way. Wait to see what Kevin’s hair looks like when he opens the door. Hear April and Nicki chatter, just for everyone to join the discussion; while as many kids as we can fit under one roof (or pavilion or hospital room/waiting area) clammer around us. To have my Dad raise his voice in a playful way just to remind us, he is Dad. To gather as many people as I can under one roof, just for me to slave over a stove so we can make memories. For me to lay in his lap as we sip and talk about the latest.

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Today, I’m having my first homesick moment. It hurts so bad. I’m beating myself up for going so far. I’m crying like a baby. But, as I write everything I miss I’m glad I have these memories. I’m glad I know I made a great choice despite it being one of the hardest things to choose in my life. No matter where I am, there will always be something for me to miss. I just have to make sure the choices I make are worth this amount of pain.

It’s now been 54 days 4 hours and 22 minutes since I’ve been home. No matter what my zip code is, home will always be with some of the greatest people I could hope to know and love. I’ll be home soon…

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